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The knowledge of the recent suicide incident in my school has led me to a state of deep thought once again. I didn't know Mr. Tan but this is actually the incident in closest proximity to me so yes, I found it alarming. I guess this leaves the Philosophy teachers with a new thing to ponder on.
Anyway..
I was thinking about how sad or lonely he must have been for thinking that suicide is his only way out. I'm not the suicidal kind but I know what it feels like to be trapped, to be stuck, to feel that there seems to be nowhere to go, to be forced to stay put no matter how much you want and try to go somewhere. (If you haven't experienced this, you might want to read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult). The only difference is I was surrounded by people who cared more for me than I did for myself, and that because I cared for them a lot, I'd take care of myself too. I'm honestly not in love with myself enough so the reason I'm alive is because the people I love with all my heart want me alive and well and happy. I live for them, not for myself.
With this in mind, I start to think about the people who are too much in love with themselves that the rest of the world don't seem to matter. While they are out there trying to grab everyone's attention and enjoying the limelight or sleeping in a bed of money, there are people who long to at least be acknowledged as existing. They don't ask for much... just a reason to live or a reason to believe that people want them to live, because apparently, living for themselves is not enough, unlike a lot of people who live for nothing BUT themselves. They would say, "I don't care. Why should I care about them when I have myself to care about?" Realizing later that what she meant by "caring for myself" actually meant choosing what shoes to buy, what laptop to get, body-building, worrying about skin tone, and the like. Honestly, I have nothing bad to say about this. They can choose to live a vainglorious life for all I care. May they find their life's purpose in wealth, the brands of shoes they get, the color of their skin, the abs they've worked for years to get, the abundant fame, praise and recognition they get, or the slim white laptop they are using. I'm sure it will be a very meaningful life.
I learned in Physics that the cold is not a form of energy in itself, but it is in fact the absence of heat energy. I think, in this small way, suicide is like the cold. It is not an end in itself, but like a counter-end. I mean, It isn't only that people commit suicide because they found reasons to end their lives. It's also more like people commit suicide because they cannot find a reason to live. All forces push them down while nothing seems to push them up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we must use well or to the full potential what we're given. Lessen whining and complaining. You have so many choices in front of you while some unfortunate people have NONE at all. I look around and think that maybe some of these suicide victims deserve your spot on Earth more than you do.
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iced_kiss24's Friends Page
lazy
it just sucks the life out of you. 
confused